I made my largest emotional spending purchase in 2020 — and that is a physical big deal. After months of being in quarantine, it was finally time to buy a Snoogle. Yes, I was a single, unpregnant woman who decided to purchase a pregnancy pillow. Although it wasn’t the most expensive thing I bought, it was the most meaningful purchase I made.
This is a great reminder about emotional spending: sometimes it’s worth it and other times it’s not. My pregnancy pillow was a perfect example of this. I can confidently say that it was worth every penny. It’s currently in storage while I travel as a digital nomad and I miss it every single day.
What is emotional spending?
Emotional spending can be defined as an expenditure that is more emotional than practical. Sometimes the practical and emotional aspects overlap, as in the case with my Snoogle. Emotional spending can be a chronic problem for many people. It can seem like your emotions are controlling your finances.
Emotional spending is often viewed as a negative thing. It’s important that we talk about it from a morally neutral perspective. There are occasions when self-soothing and other emotion-driven purchases can be valid. However, there are also times when these same purchases are deeply regrettable.
To show both the good and bad sides of emotional spending, I reached into my Facebook group to ask them about their “emotional buys” and whether they felt they were worth it.
“I flew a one-day roundtrip from Arizona to California to see my grandparents. Their grandparents are now older so they stopped visiting after an hour. I had several hours before my flight so I decided to go to Disneyland. I spent $100 on one ride and one churro. I felt guilty about my purchase as I was about to leave. I decided to justify it by purchasing an annual pass. It was truly the most spontaneous, emotional purchase I have ever made. I was so excited to visit Disneyland, and then my grandparents, in !”
“My dog suffered a CCL injury a few years back, and the cost of surgery was over $4,000. The vet advised us to try to make her feel comfortable and help her cope with the injury. It was horrible to see her limp. She is a puggle who loves to go for walks so I decided to have her surgery. It was two years ago and we still take a lot of walking. It was well worth it. Although I am very frugal when it comes to my daughter’s health, I will always spend as much as it costs.
“I was leading an assembly to create a plan for a major project. I had a clear plan and data-driven reasoning. The director of our engineering department intervened and steamrolled the plan that I had spent many days creating. I was angry and frustrated. I drove to the mall an hour before work, and bought a soft pretzel, 4 Michael Kors bags, and a taxi. The bags are amazing! Yes. Do they make me feel frustrated every time I see them again? Also, yes.”
My car was my emotional purchase. After graduating, I felt that I had to have a new car. I believed that everyone has one. My monthly car payment increased from $316 to $469 per Month. I loved the car that I bought, but I was remorseful about it. Because I was paying $650+ for my car (payments, insurance, gas) I felt that I was unable to travel, save money, or pay off other debts. It was sold in December, and I used the extra cash to pay off my credit cards debt. This was the best decision that I have ever made and one I regret not making sooner. I was a victim of “Keeping Up with the Joneses” and now have money to save, invest, and pay for student loans, all the while not being tied down by a payment em>
ADHD is a very common condition. Emotional spending is very common in ADHD. This triggers dopamine, so I need to be careful not to get into a vicious circle. When I feel down, it’s usually on clothes or my home decor. It’s small things that add up and make me feel as though I don’t have anything to show for it. I have cut down my wardrobe by half since I was diagnosed. A friend encouraged me to purchase 20 or less items of clothing for the year. I also bought shoes. I have noticed a similar dopamine response when I say no and walk away. I feel fulfilled !”
“During a cold winter and while suffering from seasonal depression, I clicked “buy Now” to book a trip in the Dominican Republic via Groupon. I did not add to my cart nor save for later but “buy now” and, instead of asking for a refund for the purchase, went on the trip. Although I regret it initially because I was trying to save money, it was so much fun and the first time I did something unplanned em>
It’s not always as bad as we think, especially if you are aware of the way your emotions manifest in your spending.
Tips to help you make the right decision about emotional spending
These are three ways you can determine if it is worth making an emotional purchase.
- How does this purchase offer value? I found comfort in my Snoogle, even though it wasn’t necessary. So even though it was an emotional/self-soothing purchase, it was “worth it” to me.
- Does the purchase fall within one of your values categories? Nesting, which is my main spending value, is why I bought a pillow. Last-minute travel is also a part my value-based spending. If I feel tempted to purchase a new purse, shoes, or clothing-related item, I will really think about it and consider whether I am spending my money because it is there. I spend a lot more time on clothes than I do on other items.
- Use the taco calculator. This tool is one of my favorites for measuring spending. Let’s suppose you love tacos. If you are considering buying something that is an emotional purchase, ask yourself, “How many tacos will this cost me?” This helps you to see if it is worth your time. Tacos are not necessary to use. You can also use other items you like, such as a skincare product, round-trip flight tickets, or tickets to shows. Tacos are fun, delicious and universally beloved.
Don’t let shame get you down if an emotional purchase isn’t worth the effort. Money is a tricky subject. Sometimes we make mistakes and don’t realize it until later. Keep moving forward by focusing on your values and budget.
Bonus tip: Personal Capital, which I use daily to track my net worth and keep an eye on how much I spend, and reach my big goals like (yes!) Saving the first $100k.
Get started with the Personal Capital’s free financial tools
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